Actionable Feedback that Moves the Needle

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We are all the heroes in our own movies.

We do everything right and we are never the wiser until somebody is willing to give us feedback that is honest, and hopefully actionable.

When it comes to work, most of us envision feedback as -

• The 360-Degree Review

• The Annual Review

• The Quarterly Review

• 1-2-1’s

• The two-sentence feedback conversation from our boss as we both get our coffee from the break room

Most of this feedback misses the mark and is quickly forgotten.

If we want our employees to take feedback and coaching to heart, we need to evolve how we give feedback and coach.

My Experience Receiving Feedback

Most of the feedback I received in my corporate life was useless and not actionable. My manager did it for the sake of checking off the box as “completed.”

Until one day.

I was working for a fast-growing start-up, in a Director of Operations role, with 50 people on my team.

There was a two-month period in which I had a deluge of personal issues hammering our family and I did not realize that my attitude toward my team had soured. My team certainly noticed it, and after a few weeks, they called my boss to let them know that I wasn’t acting like my normal self and they were concerned and frustrated.

On a Friday afternoon, I landed back in Orange County, CA after a long week of business travel. I was having lunch with my wife when my phone rang.

It was my boss.

Calling to discuss the reports from my team about my behavior.

I’ll conclude this story at the end so that you will better understand why his feedback worked.

Why Our Feedback Does Not Work

Before we discuss how to give feedback that works, let’s understand what is not working.

Honest and Best of Intentions -

The ONLY reason we should give feedback is if we are coming from a place of honestly wanting to help that person have a better outcome and improve. If the feedback is coming from a place of frustration, from your own lack of leadership, or just to vent, then the feedback will fail. 

Misaligned Expectations -

We know what the end objective is but how two people get there may be completely different.

Travel is a great example of this. We both need to get to Chicago but how we get there may differ. We can fly, drive, or take a train. Heck, you could even ride a bike if you were so inclined.

If my expectation and assumption is that we both fly to Chicago, and the other person is buying a train ticket, we now have misaligned expectations.

The same issue happens when we give feedback. If we don’t use the feedback to align the expectations, then the feedback will fall short of being useful.

Assumptions -

Assumptions are one of the biggest ways to drive communication breakdowns. We may mean well, but when we draw our own conclusions, we often come to the wrong conclusion.

Unless you witness something with your own eyes, you can’t truly know why someone was short with a customer, showed up late to a meeting, or did not close an important sale.

But instead of asking, we assume to know the answer.

The problem is that we are looking at this through our own life lens, with our experiences, biases, and preferences filling in the blanks.

The Feedback Formula

The formula has 3 parts -

1. The Question

2. The Observation

3. The Response

The Question

By leading with a question, you leave the proverbial monkey on their back (see article link in the footnote).

The question is - “How did this go compared to your expectations?” 

By letting the person share their point of view first, we reduce the chances of putting them on the defensive. This question gives you the opportunity to see if you had shared and aligned expectations AND if they are actually seeing the situation through a realistic lens.

Here is an interesting fact. In 75% of cases, they saw what you saw. They knew they fell short and already have a plan to improve.

The Observation

Sometimes we need to lead the horse to water. Be the mirror that person needs to objectively look at the situation.

But how you do this will make or break the effectiveness of the feedback conversation.

I learned this methodology from a mentor -

When you________

I experienced__________

That resulted in___________

In order to use this methodology you -

When you - Tell them only the facts. This is the mirror.

I experienced - This is what you observed, perceived or your opinion of the situation (not your opinion of them).

That resulted in - These are the outcomes that did not happen. Make these as factual as possible. “I/we experienced losing a client because we did not QC our work properly.”

Once you provide this feedback, stop. Don’t pile on more issues. Focus on one piece of tangible feedback at a time.

The Response

It’s critical to make sure the feedback was received and understood and the expectations are aligned.

Understanding the feedback is the only way for a person to improve their outcomes.

I like to wrap up with these questions -

1. What are the key aspects of the feedback you’re taking away from this conversation?

This question ensures we have a mutual understanding.

2. What next steps are you considering based on this feedback?

   This question ensures the feedback was understood and actionable. If they cannot come up with a high-level set of next steps, the conversation is not yet over.

Wrapping up the story

Why did my boss’s feedback work? He followed the formula -

When you are talking to your team, you are getting angry, visibly frustrated, and very short-tempered.

We are experiencing an increase in complaints from your employees and we do not feel like we can approach you to discuss anything.

Resulting in a decrease in morale and your sales are down 12% for the past 8 weeks.

Straightforward, simple, and hard to argue with.

If you implement this system, send me an email and let me know how it works!

Here’s the link to the article on Keeping the Monkey On Their Back

The Entrepreneur to Employer Podcast

If you like podcasts, check out the Entrepreneur to Employer Podcast. Each week, I’ll put one episode in here that compliments the newsletter.

Episode # 36 - The 5 Questions You Can Use to Unlock Underperforming Employees

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Thank you for reading!

Until next week,

Brian